I started learning very early after the birth of my daughter that those who seem to be for you are not necessarily for you unless you remain in your place of insecurity, and lack. When Allan joined me here in Atlanta, I was more empowered and I felt confidence in my ability. Time was turning pages so quickly I couldn't keep up. My daughter was turning 5 and entering elementary school. I had gone through the horrible experience of the Georgia Child Support System. I was so tired of having to focus so much on the "how's", and "Why me". To have a man a person you respected question their child's connection to them. It was horrifying. I made a commitment that if he remained uninvolved and disconnected.... I would make sure he remembered her financially. I actually saw this commitment through. In GA you can appeal for an increase every 3 years... I do so.
My daughter was a test and testimony to me. Every day of struggle ... I remember, every challenge. I am proud of the values my parents instilled in me though. I was determined not to let her see me in a negative light.
I have always kept my circle small. I am a popular loner, I know alot of people, but I guard closely what they know about me. There were a few friends I would confide in and I would go to them when I was most emotional. I quickly learned that the only person or should I say entity that you should should trust in is the Lord. Friends are not capable of operating without judgement. I don't know why.... but we as women are so judgmental of each other. My brother continued as my best friend.
My daughters father remained disconnected until she was 10 years old. It was at this time I met a man who took only 6 months before asking me to marry him. My daughters father stated that because I was getting married..... his wife now felt comfortable with him connecting with his daughter. He missed every milestone because as he stated..... " His wife was not comfortable with him connecting because I was a single attractive woman." My daughter had no "Father for the 1st 10 years of her life."